i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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