wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
