He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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