Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
God gave him joint rollers for hands
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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