some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
