Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
