I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
