i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
