why didn't you poke me back
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
