hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
