I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Four minutes until I can fart!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
