he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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