paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We had to coat check the pizza.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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