try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
