seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
pray to the hookup gods
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
