i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
