theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
