You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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