You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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