In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
