Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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