Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
