my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
