I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Blood and glitter go together right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
