Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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