I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
