if you like me you must not know who I am
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
