I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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