are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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