so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
