oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
