coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
