And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
