I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
