we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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