this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
