My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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