One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
