My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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