yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
