You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
