Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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