Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
