just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
