so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
