just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
