Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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