I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
