How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
