everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
