just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
