I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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