Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
