so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
