therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
